How to express gratitude to yourself

It is often said, that we are own worst enemies. It’s said so often that it has become cliché. The trouble with cliché is that buried within it – is truth.

Even the best people can find themselves at war with their own interests; they throw themselves into charity work, community work, business, family, etc. and all to avoid acknowledging their own needs.

Soon, they find that nothing they do is ever “good enough.” How could it be? If you set yourself impossible targets and dive into everything and never spend so much as a second on self-care; you’re going to end up exhausted and miserable.

If this sounds like you, I want you to know – there is good news. You can make a dramatic change, today, here and now that will benefit you every day for the rest of your life. This change costs no money and is incredibly easy to do.

Thank Yourself For Being You

Seriously, that’s it. If you’re not feeling appreciated in your life; the best source of validation is not in other people – it’s in you. And if you begin by showing gratitude to yourself for being you; very soon, you’ll feel more peaceful, more cantered and more capable of tackling anything life throws at you.

Here are some tips on saying “thank you” to yourself:

  • Stop beating yourself up when you’re not progressing towards a goal. Start saying “well done” for how far you have already come, instead.
  • Whenever you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself, take a step back, stop and think of something positive to say. Then say it.
  • Let some vanity and sincerity in. Find a mirror, right now, and go look yourself in the eye and meaningfully thank yourself for being you. “You’re awesome! Thanks for being me!” will do nicely.
  • Make a list of ten qualities that you recognize in yourself as valuable and which would matter to others too. Keep that list in your pocket. If you feel down; get it out and look at it. You rock!
  • Now make a list of ten times you made a positive difference in other people’s lives. Write that down too. Keep it in your bag or your wallet. Once again, if you feel blue – get it out and revel in your own hard-earned awesomeness!
  • Treat yourself. If you had a partner do something special for you, you’d treat them to something nice. Well, you do something special for you every single day – take yourself out on your own and celebrate that fact.
  • Make time for yourself. Seriously, you owe yourself at least 30 minutes of fun every single day of your life. Whether it’s gym time or computer game time that you crave – make room for it. Nobody ends their life wishing they’d spent more time in the office. So leave work earlier and have fun.
  • When people compliment you – don’t brush it off. Instead, work out how to accept compliments with grace and kindness. Positive reinforcement from others never hurts. You are special and when people tell you so, listen and thank them for noticing.

There are many other ways for you to thank yourself for being you but this should get you started. Remember, every single person on this planet is truly amazing and you are too. Feel better, feel free and say “thank you” for everything you do for you.

The Beliefs That Can Help You Power Through Life

If there’s one tragedy in life, it is this – billions of people are trapped by their own beliefs into leading lives that are less fulfilling and less amazing than they ought to be. They have been taught to frame themselves in the negative and their beliefs that they cannot do things are self-fulfilling.

Yet, it is easy to see such beliefs as false when you place them under examination. Better still, it is relatively simple to restate such beliefs in a true context so that they empower us to succeed rather than cause us to fail.

Here are some limiting beliefs and new ways to see them to free your mind and soul to achieve great things:

Limiting Belief – “I Can’t Be Me”

“I can’t be me. I might be judged for it.”

It’s easy to see how this might stop someone from embodying their true-self, isn’t it? If you’re scared that other people are sneering at you, why try at all?

The good news is that you can reject this belief. Try replacing it with these two instead:

“It is not my role in life to please other people.”

“I can be me. There will never, in all of history, be another person like me.”

The good news? These beliefs are true. They free you from the limiting belief and replace it with a positive.

Limiting Belief – “They Might Say No”

This is usually expressed as, “I can’t ask for what I need, what if someone says no?”

The fear of rejection is a peculiar one. It stems from being part of a social species. It hurts when we are rejected. Yet, the fear is often debilitating and not real. It just holds us back.

These beliefs are better:

“Everybody hears ‘no’ at some point in life. Each ‘no’ carries us closer to ‘yes’.”

And… “If I don’t ask for something, you probably won’t get it.”

This may be one of the biggest signs of successful people. When they let go of the fear of rejection, life becomes much easier.

Limiting Belief – “I Can’t Trust People”

Sure, “I can’t trust people they might betray my trust.” might feel true. But in reality, if you don’t trust people, how can you expect to work with them and to benefit from their help and love as you help and love them?

A fear of something that may never come is not your friend. Many people are completely trustworthy and given your trust they will grow it into something amazing with you.

These beliefs will help you strengthen your bonds with others:

“Unless someone shows they are untrustworthy, they are deserving of my trust.”

“I must trust people, in order to form meaningful relationships.”

All Limiting Beliefs Can Be Reversed

If you have a limiting belief in life, it can be reversed. Nothing you believe needs to be objectively true, unless you really want it to be. Freedom in life comes from choosing the right beliefs for your mindset.

Running A Small Business Is Stressful

If feels like stating the obvious but running a small business may be one of the most stressful things in the world. In larger businesses – responsibility is shared for most things. But in a small business, one person often carries nearly all of the weight.

That doesn’t mean, however, that running a small business has to be stressful. There are ways to improve productivity and lower your costs without being stressful for you. Here’s how:

Create A Clear Vision Of What You Want

I’m not talking about writing a fancy vision statement (as marketing departments love to do) but I am suggesting that you visualize what “success” looks like within your business’s context.

After all, if you don’t know what it looks like, how will you know when you get there? Also, it’s important because it allows you to build a series of sense checks for decision making.

If you can see where your future lays, you can ask, “Does this action bring us/me any closer to the future I envisioned? If not, why not? Should I let this go or make changes in my vision?”

You can, of course, change your vision but most of the time, you won’t want to. Knowing where you want to go, lets you see the route more easily. It lets you stop wasting time on things that aren’t important to your business. The more time you free up to do important things, the less stressed you will be.

It will also improve productivity (you’ll have more time to do things) and reduce costs (you won’t spend money on pointless pursuits). Pretty easy, right?

Don’t Be Afraid To Seek Help

You are not superhuman. No one person can have all the skills and talents necessary to make a successful business in today’s society.

Do not be afraid to seek help. You might want a mentor (someone who has succeeded in your field or a related field already) who can help guide you through the growing pains of your business life. Reach out to a professional association or via Linked In or a local networking group – these people not only exist but are often delighted to help.

You might need an answer to a quick query (you’d be amazed at how easy it is to find an expert online and get a response instantly) or anywhere in between these two points.

It’s also possible to outsource the tasks you hate the most or at which you suck the most. Life can feel much better if you can give the accounting to an accountant or the mailing to a postal outsourcing service.

You don’t have to do everything. You do need the help of others. It’s not embarrassing to realize this. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – humans are social creatures, we’re happiest in groups. Forming a group of people around you to help with your business is the smartest thing you can do. Start today.

You Have The Right To Choose

How many times have you heard someone say, “I wanted to do something but something else got in my way?” A lot, I would imagine. I know I have.

You see the most pernicious lie that people tell themselves is that they have no control over their lives. They are passive bystanders to whom life happens.

This is a limiting belief and the enormity of it is frightening. If you truly believe you have no control over life, that it is nothing but a fairground ride for which you have a ticket, then you will have no control (or very little control) over what happens to you.

Breaking This Mindset

This mindset needs breaking. Outside of the unfortunates trapped in modern slavery or incredible poverty, we are in the most fortunate period in history.

You have endless choices. You have the ability to be anything or do anything. This is because of the incredible abundance of the technological era. While there is still disease, it is by and large controlled and remote for most of our lives.

There is unlimited education available and much of it for free (or at a very low cost) and the Internet has meant that even the most financially challenged of souls can start their own business and become their own boss and, as importantly, develop their financial freedom.

So, the only thing standing in your way is you.

It’s Not As Hard As You Might Think

The easiest way to stop believing a lie is to confront that lie. To keep repeating the truth until it takes the place of the lie that has developed its own pathways in the brain.

We know, in our hearts, that we make our own choices. You don’t have to sit in watching TV tonight, you could be starting a business.

You don’t have to go to college to study medicine to please your parents, if you want to – you can study fashion just like you always wanted.

So, we need a mantra.

You can choose your own but the essence is this: “I am in control of my life. I will make decisions that benefit me. I will not apologize for this but will continue to act with caring, compassion and kindness to others even if they do not support my decisions.”

By repeating your mantra (rephrase the one above or create your own) on a regular basis, it will become a “script” in your brain. The next time you find yourself making a decision to please someone else, rather than to please yourself – review your mantra, then and there on the spot.

Then, accept the blessing you have been given in life. Make your choice. Accept that choice in your soul as the one that you want. Then own the responsibility for your choice. The good and the bad. There is no perfect decision in life, but you can live life on your terms. In my experience that makes people happier and more successful in all walks of life.