Welcome 2019!!!!

Hello Everyone!!!

I know I am a little late for this but I believe there is never late to wish,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019.

I hope 2018 treated everyone well. It also treated me well and taught me a lot of things that are really important not only for your personal but also for professional growth.

Every day brings the joy of living with it, a joy of life, a joy we all always wanted. But what is missing is the enthusiasm to welcome that joy and eventually a “HAPPY NEW YEAR”, turns to “What is so extra-ordinary about this year?”

I know this happens. Everyone partied hard, some took resolutions which are never going to be taken care of and some just started the New Year thanking God for life and enough food for that particular night.

So let us make this year extra-ordinary by not doing what we did for the last many years. Here is a to-do list for an extra-ordinary 2019.

Be thankful

Yes exactly. Be thankful for everything in life. Life is the most priceless gift we all have got from the Almighty. So, rather than complaining about the hardships that you go through every day, try to think of it as the ladder to happiness and success. Hardships are a part of every person’s life. What counts is how well you take them and boast your life in spite of those.

Aim to grow

Aim high and keep growing. Aiming to grow is not only based on the profession but also personal and it will happen only with constant effort and the curiosity to learn. Try and grow in the field of your choice. You might have a formal degree in engineering or medicine or you might be a chartered accountant, if you are not happy with your job profile, take efforts towards changing it to something you are good at.

Self-learning

Life is a perfect teacher for each one of us, it depends how good we students are to take the lessons positively. 2019 is going to be a year where constant learning is going to matter. With a lot of technological advancement, it has become extremely important that you to stay updated, so in the long run, you do not become obsolete. Learning is the only way to build a perfect future in this fast-paced world.

Stay away from peer pressure

Peer pressure is something our generation is struggling to stay away from. I have friends who are doing and buying things only because someone else in his/her group owns it. The truth is people who own certain things have either earned it or struggling hard to sustain that lifestyle. We all should see the hard work and efforts taken to sustain a rich lifestyle by people rather than just seeing the materialistic gains they have.

So, if you spend the New Year’s at your place with your parents, there is nothing to be ashamed or be disappointed. The joy of spending your new year with parents is totally different.

So stay away from peer pressure and make your own path. You never know the path of hardships may bring you to a place better than where your peers are right now.

Calm down

Do not rush towards anything, be it life goals, career goals or monetary and material goals. Do not fall for unreasonable claims of becoming rich since there is no shortcut to earning a lot of money. The only way to earn money is to be good at what you do, because if you are the best, people are willing to pay the amount you quote without negotiation.

The best example is the Apple iPhone. Every one of us wants to own an iPhone at least once in our lifetime, but we also know that it might take a whole lifetime to buy one. iPhone has built its reputation and quality, not in one single night, it is a result of constant efforts of a community. From engineers, programmers and CEO’s till the marketing team, everyone has one single goal and worked unitedly towards it.

So, if anything is meant to be for you, no one in the world can take it from you. Hence, stay calm, do what you do best and I am sure you will also emerge as one single force in the society.

 Work hard, party harder

Last, but not least.

Give your best at what you do, work hard, aim high and work towards it. Keep working hard, but prioritize work and life. Have a work-life balance.

Work-life balance is something many of us fail to maintain. We either work a lot or live a lot and forget to do the other one. Working is important, but make sure you rest well, enjoy life so that the work and life do not become monotonous.

Try doing things differently, try to innovate something, try to learn something new, and try to take a trip even if it is for a day or two. Do everything but do it in style.

Finally, I hope 2019 brings a lot and a lot of success and happiness to each and everyone reading this one and also to people whom you care for and your families.

Tell us in the comment below, how would you make your 2019 different than others and what are your New Year resolutions.

All the best everyone for a successful 2019.

Keep Smiling!!

Happy 2019 once again!!!

His name is Christian Viñas…

Hi, my name is Christian Viñas, age 21 years old, currently residing in the Philippines, and one of the new(est)? writers here on TheStartupGrowth.com. I was invited by TheStartupGrowth.com when they privately messaged me on my LinkedIn account. I found that there’s great opportunity by joining in as a guest author, so I did. That’s how my Christmas weekend went. 

Anyway, I like chess (hence feature image), badminton and bowling. I spend most of my time binging on movies/documentaries available on Youtube/any other streaming platform. Either that, or I’m working as part of a tech team three bus rides away from our house. Oh yeah, I write for WhenInManila.com, too. (WhenInManila.com is also a startup here in the Philippines and its main focus is on Filipino lifestyle, food, and travel advice.)

I’m excited to contribute to this community, but I feel like an introduction could be my better move. Ease it in, as they say. I’ll probably give insight on how to handle business matters once or twice a month, since I’m kept busy by my immediate work with the family.

With that out of the way, I hope that what I can add up . I can promise you that, ’cause I never even told anyone what the first rule of Fight Club is…

Cheers and here’s to a good 2019 to all of us!
woman and man toasting drinks
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

How To Avoid Arguments During The Festive Season (And All Year Round)

We have all seen the ads on TV showing happy families coming together to celebrate Christmas, large groups of cheerful party-goers for New Years Eve and all the other marketing campaigns that roll out at this time of the year…but in reality a lot of people feel very stressed during the festive season, often taking it out on the people closest to them. So what can we do to avoid arguments and unnecessary tension at this time of the year (and for the rest of the year too)?

Step 1. Stay Connected. Whether you are single or in a relationship, work from home or part of a large organisation, from a small family or a My Big Fat Greek Wedding sized family, having meaningful connections with others is important to every person across the globe. Feeling isolated and alone can add to the distress experienced at this time of the year, however there is a solution. Instead of waiting to be included in party invites or waiting to hear from others, take the initiative to call, text, email or visit friends and family members who are supportive and positive.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Step 2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! It can be very easy to fall into the trap of assuming that our nearest and dearest know what we have planned, what we are thinking and what we are feeling. The reality is that unless you are a bona-fide psychic, you are not going to be able to read another person’s mind. Effective communication is the essential ingredient in ensuring everyone is on the same page, thus avoiding arguments and misunderstandings.

Step 3. Ask “What Would Love Do?” If you feel an argument coming on, instead of fuelling the fire, or escalating things – ask yourself “what would love do?”. Coming from a place of love softens your approach to people and situations, and can be the difference between laughing off a mistake and blowing it up to be bigger than Ben Hur.

Step 4. Express Your Emotions! Bottling up feelings when you first feel them and stockpiling / storing them for later can be a recipe for disaster. The sooner you express your feelings, the less likely it will be that things will escalate to an explosion. Sometimes things just need to be verbalised and most arguments can be avoided if the other person understands how you feel.

There are many more ways to avoid arguments and enjoy the festive season (and the rest of the year) with loved ones. If you’d like to know more please feel free to contact me.

 

 

HOW NOT TO KNOW

“I would rather have questions that can’t be answered than answers that can’t be questioned.”

― Richard Feynman

Often, I am asked by those close to me, family and friends, ‘Oh, haven’t you learned enough? Didn’t you have enough training? What do you need that course for? When are you going to stop spending time and money on that?’ etc, etc. Of course, my initial reaction is to snap back and become defensive, but then, that leads nowhere. People simply have different values, different viewpoints…For me, learning and growing is like air and water. Those that do not feel that way – I can appreciate that that’s fine for them. I’d like them to appreciate my attitude too – actually it is not an attitude only, it is a way of life…

And so, (we shouldn’t start a sentence with ‘and’, but I’m inspired to break those shoulds!) instead I decided to use the source of irritation (those near and dear judging me or not understanding me) as a source of inspiration! To write, instead of rant. To present, instead of defending. To offer, instead of arguing…

Learning comes from curiosity and limitless desire for growth. It also comes from the ability to stay open, receptive to change, to new ways of looking at things. It is underpinned by curiosity, child-like innocence, belief that anything is possible and courage – courage to try, fail, learn and try again. The courage to be vulnerable and therefore be exposed to hurt, pain, judgement…

I have heard the term ‘course junkie’ many times, but it seems to be only a label put on the people who are ‘seekers’ by those who are not. Also, I see a difference in the starting point – a behind the scenes talk in your head, such as ‘I am not good enough, I need this in order to be better, smarter, more spiritual, more educated or similar.’ and the one which runs like ‘I am really curious about this, I want to know more. I want to explore and grow and even though I am OK as I am, I know I can always grow, push limits”…One approach is inspired by turning away from(feeling of not good enough, feeling inadequate or unable to deal with life’s situations), whereas the other one is inspired by turning towards (growth, pursuit of excellence, pushing boundaries, creation and innovation of self). I know because I have experienced both, I was running away and running towards. To be honest, it does not matter where you are coming from, if you are moving rather than being stuck, you are actually more likely to be living your life than avoiding it!

Katherine Woodward Thomas refers to it as ‘living the questions’. It is spending your life in enquiry, in wonderment and also being able to tolerate the uncertainty – not knowing. The rigid mind is fixed in right or wrong, correct or false, there are only definitive answers and judgement. The not-knowing bit is really difficult to tolerate, the mind is always racing trying to find a solution. I can tell you though, that my life really started to change once I shifted my focus on asking questions, rather than frantically trying to find solutions, to respond to everything and everyone, first of all to my ego’s calling. Asking questions, quality questions, that bring insight, as opposed to asking questions that demand a quick fix solution, is what I found creates incremental, but sustained change. Sometimes the change can be a breakthrough – a moment when illusions and until then deeply rooted cherished beliefs are shattered -like a glass ball bursting into million shards in front of you. You may get cut or grazed a bit in the process, but your eyes and your mind will be focused on the pouring light that is coming through – the fresh insight.

In juxtaposition to a rigid, closed mind, that believes has all answers (or even avoids contemplating that questions are endless, let alone answers), is a fluid, open mind that allows uncertainty as well as the possibility that something else, apart from black and white thinking, can be an existential basis from which to direct your life. The Buddhists call it ‘Beginner’s Mind’, in Christianity we are asked to ‘become like little children’ in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. In the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono it is the process of cleaning your mind of all memories and returning to ‘zero state’ which is actually the state of divine love inside us, the state free of judgement, blame, guilt, shame and polarity such as ‘right or wrong’. In his book ‘Zero Limits’ that is what Joe Vitale refers to – by taking full responsibility for our thoughts, actions and our lives, without self-blame, and cleaning ourselves of all guilt, resentment, fear and judgement, we actually get ‘back to zero’. A place where we really have no limits, and everything is possible. It is the same as ‘being in innocence’ and allowing the possibility that ‘we do not know anything, therefore, everything is possible’ according to Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.

Throughout history, there have been many spiritual practises and philosophies that have challenged our beliefs, pre-conceptions, and perceptions that we assumed – were knowledge. After all, what is knowledge? Isn’t it so that new discoveries are always replacing old facts, theories and beliefs, that change is the only constant thing? I have always been fascinated by Koans, self-paradoxical riddles and questions used in Zen Buddhism to exhaust the analytic and egoic mind in order to reveal the more intuitive no-mind. They are not about arriving at an answer, they are more about the revelation that there are no fully satisfying answers.

From time to time I remind myself that it is all about our perception and if I keep asking myself ‘how do I know that?” I will actually never arrive at a definitive answer – it will just be a temporary perception, or perhaps a belief that is so strong and deeply rooted that we equate it with reality. Floating and frolicking with joy on the open seas of a fluid, open mind, is much more fun, and brings the much-craved sense of freedom. It is the freedom from self, rather than of self.

So learning how to unlearn and cleanse and empty your mind is one of the most powerful ways to keep growing. As the Zen master says in this little koan:

https://fractalenlightenment.com/37292/spirituality/5-zen-koans-that-will-open-your-mind

If you have liked this article please share it! Post your comments below or reach out at jelena@whatwork.co.uk

Resources:

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki

Zero Limits, Joe Vitale, Ihaleakala Hew Len

The Hero’s Journey, Joseph Campbell

First Entry: Introduction

A leader in our own little to grand ways. Sparking something from within. The kind that you’ll be proud of yourself, that you can easily connect and initiate without having your doubts get to you way too much. To also make you grow as a person. I want you to have that something to inspire or motivate you to “just do it”.

Hello. Hello to the thousands of readers, subscribers of The Startup Growth!

I’m the new girl from the Republic of the Philippines. I was chosen and invited by our dear Editor to write for The Startup Growth.

To start, I was both excited, undecided and unsure of so many factors. Originally, I have three articles to publish but since I got lost (in direction; asking myself, is it really the right one) as to I was excited to write for you. You, the international scene in which most I probably never encountered in the past. That I’ll be tackling something that’s raw, personal and “nude”. The very essence of a person. A probably bold move to some. But I want you, our readers to also somehow connect to us, to let me “see” you. To make you “see” yourself too. That means to the effect that we’ll discover something about each other, the real deal and that we can all be “somebody” at the same time. A leader in our own little to grand ways. Sparking something from within. The kind that you’ll be proud of yourself, that you can easily connect and initiate without having your doubts get to you way too much. To also make you grow as a person. I want you to have that something to inspire or motivate you to “just do it”. To just trust yourself. The real pure deal. So when you experience the same dilemma that I had, you have that something to go back to. Whatever that may be.

Me, I have my previous boss’ book. He is also my idol as to how he connects to people, the passion, the realness, the eager to learn, the respect to all sorts of people. I go back to that. I go back to him and that sparks something in me to just let go and write. I want you dear readers to have that. So as to my first article for The Startup Growth, I want you to have that, to look for that and share it with us. Let’s start from within first. It all starts from within then it goes out. Just let yourself. Feel free.

4 Delicious Ways to Put Essential Nutrients Back Into Your Day!


Common Problem

Your healthiest mind and body require essential nutrients in your daily intake, which include:

· Carbohydrates

· Protein

· Fat

· Water

· Vitamins

· Minerals

· Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Oftentimes, we don’t get enough of these and your health and wellness take a hit.

Source of Truth

According to Dr. Josh Axe, Doctor and Clinical Nutritionist with the #1 Natural Health Website in the World, says low protein intake can manifest itself in many ways:

· Low Energy

· Fatigue

· Poor Concentration

· Moodiness

· Bone/Joint Pain, Low Immunity

· Fatty Liver (What happened to me)

Source: 9 Signs of a Protein Deficiency + How to Fix www.draxe.com

Consult your doctor, before increasing your protein intake significantly.

One Solution

Meanwhile, NuGoNutrition.com #nugocookies has a sweet protein option that will help supplement your daily protein needs. NuGo has 4 delicious cookies packing 16 grams of pea protein and 10–12 grams of Fiber!

Pea protein contains 9 of the 11 essential amino acids your body needs including BCAA’s (Branch Chain Amino Acids) for muscle strength, growth, and workout recovery, according to Men’s Health Writer Aleisha Fetters.

Source: Pea Protein Power is Trendy Right Now — But Should You Buy It?

By integrating small amounts of lean, grass-fed meat or wild caught seafood, beans, leafy greens, and snacks like NuGo Cookies, you will begin feeling a lot better: Mind and Body.

Results You Can Expect

Imagine how much more you could accomplish with a fully present mind and body. Say, goodbye morning and mid-day sluggishness and coffee jitters, say hello to nutrient-rich alertness and energy that’s good for you and the planet. You can begin getting more organic, nutrient rich Pea Protein with a NuGo Cookie — today.

Cost

Approximately $2.50/EA

Currently, you can obtain Dark Chocolate and Peanut Butter Flavors at a Whole Foods Market near you.

For a limited time, you can order a 12 Pack and get 15% off using the online discount code BIGGUY until 3/15/2019.

Order from NuGoNutrition online today and save!

You can order sample packs and boxes of NuGo Protein Cookies. Free shipping on sample packs and orders over $50.

Wrapping Up

Here’s a quick reminder to take advantage of these small shifts for big gains, so you can eat, drink, think, and thrive personally and professionally — everyday!

Continue Your Learning Journey

Continue their learning by following the profile, post, or video description link to www.bigguylittlekitchen.com

Hopefully todays tips, will help you eat, drink, think, and thrive to drive success in your personal and professional life, which are endurance races.

I offer you two secret weapons, to win your work/life races:

1. Winning foods, behaviors, and mindset combinations to create the capacity and circumstances for success at work/life.

2. Me, as your 20+ Year Veteran coach of the work/life event, to discuss your eating, drinking, and thinking strategies packed with essential nutrients and knowledge successful athletes consume to thrive!

Join me to learn more about the amazing body, positive mind, and success behavior options that will give you the fuel needed for your work/life success rocket.

To continue your journey, visit http://bigguylittlekitchen.com/ for body, mind, and behavior resource links you’ll love!

About Coach John St. John, Author, Trainer, Blogger, and Speaker

With 20+ years’ proven experience coaching and developing individual’s excellence as personal, professional, and leadership development interventions, I have helped small business to corporate organizations like Wal-Mart, Steri-Cycle, Kaiser Permanente, Alstom, Best Western International, Federal Aviation Administration, Dish Network, and many more create work/life success — individually to corporately. My approach focuses on audiences learning, practicing, and producing results sooner than expected. And, I’ll help you or your audience shift toward their greatness, too.

5 Unsinkable Mindsets: How to Hardwire Your Life’s Success

I LEARNED FROM TWO UNSINKABLE PEOPLE

When I think about unsinkable, Tony Robbins and Les Brown (Coach and Motivational Speaker respectively) began life with serious disadvantage low income conditioning and no male exemplar of hope and success in their lives.

Today, both are exemplars of unsinkable hope and success. Unsinkable means incapable of sinking. Despite tremendous odds, they are now incapable of sinking. Instead of accepting their lot in life, they rejected their circumstances and created a winning narrative for themselves. I’m on this path. And, I want you to join too.

Be unsinkable in the face of adversity in 5 ways:

#1 BE SPECIFIC AND UNCOMPROMISING ABOUT YOUR DREAM:

Choose your dream career or life despite it feeling unrealistic or insecure, because a choice born of fear, instead of hope, is failure in sheep’s clothing. You make your career or life safe and secure with discerning choices you make.

#2 BE DISCERNING ABOUT GROWING PAIN VS SUFFERING:

Moving in the direction of your dream will cause growing pains, while moving away from it causes suffering.

#3 BE VIGILANT AND AVOID RUMINATING ON FAILURES:

You maintain your life’s momentum when you avoid failure rooting in your mind, because it will grow into tree of disappointment and suffering. Keep looking for your dream and you’ll see it come to pass, as your thoughts and actions point you toward it.

#4 BE PRESENT:

Never let your dream chasing disciplines or routines become so routine they lose value and momentum toward your career or life dreams. You do this by being proactive in what you eat, drink, and think keeping your dream’s achievement at the forefront of all you do.

#5 BE YOURSELF:

It’s the only person success was sent to find and no one else.

About Coach John St. John, Author, Trainer, Blogger, and Speaker

With 20+ years’ proven experience coaching and developing individual’s excellence as personal, professional, and leadership development interventions, I have helped small business to corporate organizations like Wal-Mart, Steri-Cycle, Kaiser Permanente, Alstom, Best Western International, Federal Aviation Administration, Dish Network, and many more create work/life success — individually to corporately. My approach focuses on audiences learning, practicing, and producing results sooner than expected. And, I’ll help you or your audience shift toward their greatness, too.

Continue your work/life success journey at http://bigguylittlekitchen.com/

5 Questions To Ask If You Are Craving Deeper Connections

Then I was the only brown skinned girl in the school that I attended in England. People called me “Paki” when I was Indian and I was physically and emotionally bullied for my color and culture.

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, the single most important factor that defines our happiness and longevity in life is the quality of relationships we have in our life.

It’s not the quantity of people we know, but the quality of the relationships we have. This is a proven fact.

So if you are craving deep meaningful relationships (which I know for women is vital), but you often feel hurt, left out, or forgotten out of your network of friends, it’s time to take a closer look at what’s going on within.

Anytime things in your physical world are not going the way you want them to, the answers to course correcting them, lie within. Yes, I realize it’s sooooo cliche, but it’s cliche, because it’s the truth.

I moved A LOT growing up. I moved cities and countries and was always the odd one. First I was the girl, who was the only Hindu, in an area of India that was majority Christian. I prayed to a different God to the rest of the kids at school and for that I was mercilessly teased.

Then I was the only brown skinned girl in the school that I attended in England. People called me “Paki” when I was Indian and I was physically and emotionally bullied for my color and culture.

So, the story that I believed was that it was hard to make friends because I never fit in.

1Are you are looking for reasons to not fit in? Are you looking for evidence to confirm your stories and beliefs that you don’t have friends? As humans, we are programmed to see only the things that confirm our beliefs. Anything that debunks it, we weed it out, because we simply don’t see it.

So you might be missing perfectly good opportunities for friendships, because you are so busy believing that it’s hard to make friends.

2. Are you looking for others to invite you and make you feel included? It’s the party season and it’s easy to sit back and wait for others to make you feel included. And if we don’t get invited, it’s easy to pass the blame and the responsibility on to others and despise them for making us feel left out.

But, can you create your own event and invite the people you wish to get to know better? It’s hard to put yourself out there and risk being vulnerable, but the secret to building meaningful relationships is to make yourself available and open.

3. Are you wanting to belong to the crowd that you perceive as cool, rather than looking for “your people”?

I know this sounds so high-school’ish but a lot of us do this. We put people on a pedestal and often want to belong to their inner circle, but don’t see ourselves as good enough to belong.

This starts a vicious cycle where you appreciate them from afar, long to be part of the inner click but can’t bring yourself to integrate fully with them because you don’t feel good enough.

Stop idolizing and longing and start seeing yourself as worthy of having great friends.

Look for the people that make you feel comfortable in your own skin and have the same internal values as you, rather than the external materials things that you aspire to.

4. Are you censoring your true self? Worried that you are too loud, too shy, too much, too quiet, too boring, too………

If you are worried about your true self and you turn up at social gatherings as someone other than yourself, then you are not allowing others to experience the authentic you.

Trying to appear as someone other than yourself, is a guaranteed way of having shallow relationships, because no one has been allowed to get to know the real you.

5. Are you afraid to speak up and ask for what you want in your relationships?

I once had to fire a friend, because she was treating me as an afterthought. She would stand me up for lunch dates, play dates and dinner dates. I kept letting it slide, until one day I had had enough. So I ended the relationship and I wished her all the best in life.

I was heartbroken, but that was a lesson learned to speak up before things got bad in a friendship.

Today, I tell my girlfriends if I have been feeling ignored or unheard.

So where are you not speaking up? Where are you letting yourself be treated unfairly?

Building deep relationships doesn’t have to be hard.

But you do have to be willing to put yourself out there.

To take down some of the walls that you have carefully built over the years.

To take a look at your beliefs and stories that are self fulfilling, but are not helping you live the best version of your life.

During this holiday season, as you go to parties, start to become the observer of your thoughts and actions. Awareness is the key to change.

Multi-tasking….and what about being?

Multi-tasking is a trap that does not make us more productive, it actually makes us frantic, less focused and eventually exhausted.

I used to love multi-tasking. Especially as a busy working mother, I would do all at once, cook, tidy up and while talking on the phone, put the laundry out to dry while my computer was updating and I was gesturing at my kids to keep their voice down while playing on PlayStation. I would run between my desk and the kitchen, listening to an important webinar while the TV was on silent and I was preparing a light dinner or answering emails –or both!…It gives me a headache to even think about it now!

Multi-tasking is a trap that does not make us more productive, it actually makes us frantic, less focused and eventually exhausted. Even worse, it makes us irritable and impatient with our loved ones, with family and friends, as our attention gets dispersed between talking to them and thinking about that last email or phone call from work….

According to studies multi-tasking decreases our productivity by 60% and our IQ by 10%. Do you really want to do that to yourself? Multi-tasking triggers our brain into overdrive and especially, as you may have guessed, social media, pop ups, notifications and so on cause us to pay attention to every little distraction and disturbance, instead of the main task we actually want to focus on.

Do you get the feeling from time to time that there are not enough hours in the day, that you are constantly on a treadmill and chasing after the next task, or rather 5 or 10 of them…? Often fretting in the evening, or even at night, that you have not completed them? Do you feel that you are never in the present, never in the moment, as your mind races constantly, into the future and then back to the past…but you are actually NEVER here, in the present moment?

And then there is this thing called THE FLOW. We have all experienced it, but it seems like a distant memory, maybe. The feeling you get when you are totally immersed in what you are doing, giving it your best and full attention – naturally. Your mind is calm, though working fully, and you are CREATING. Nothing else and no one else is present, you lose sense of time, you just feel the fulfilment and expansion…

I have a friend who is an artist and I’d get frustrated sometimes when I could not get in touch with him, because he left his mobile phone at home! But what a lesson to learn! Honouring your time with yourself, with your creative flow or just taking the time to re-charge- is priceless!

People actually pay to get excluded from all modern-day distractions in order to spend some quality time with – themselves! The boom in the retreat industry is one testament to that (I do love retreats by the way!). Also, we buy apps that tell us what to do, when and how to do it; we work with coaches and mentors to help us prioritise what we know we should prioritise anyway….

Whether it is studying, creating or doing mundane work, the key is to pace yourself in a such a way that you can complete what you set yourself to do, without stressing out! Turn off all the distractions, the phone, the notifications on your computer, the TV, or whatever else is there that may be tugging at your attention. Close your eyes and just breathe for a few minutes and then immerse yourself fully in whatever you are doing. A true sense of fulfilment will follow – not just the temporary feel-good kick that you have crossed off that item on your to do list.

Namaste!

You can reach out to me on jelena@whatwork.co.uk

Into great light and shadow and see beyond there polarities!

An excellent place to begin is love and gratitude this is the highest of vibrations next to self-compassion!

Conscious Collaborators 🤪 Food for thought Let’s think about the core of our being! Is it? Made of the best materials or emotions? i.e., Love, Compassion, Faith, Joy, Happiness, Confidence, Patience, Forgiveness, Kindness, charity, appreciation, or is it made of negative materials: Hate, betrayal, Abandonment, Anxiety, Depression, Fear, Nervousness, Panic, insecurity. Our core or foundation is just like a mirror that casts our true reflection! So this is what we reflect on the world.

An excellent place to begin is love and gratitude this is the highest of vibrations next to self-compassion! What we give to ourselves we give to the world no more no less, no one could ever love you as well as you love yourself once you choose to do this as no one really knows you as well as you know yourself and for this reason they could never love you as well as you could love and support yourself, Once you choose to do this everything (EVERYTHING) changes and the new personality with the new personal reality or new story new conditions, is living and very much breathing.

Question, I bumped into one of my candidates the other night, and this candidate said that they were beginning to feel and act differently then this candidate said I’m looking forward to my new personality, If your feeling and acting differently then you are exercising the new personality! 😉 If you choose to start drinking tea after a lifetime of drinking coffee you are applying the new personality (though I would suggest water what with it being the very essence of life 🤪) through this is you exercising the new personality as it is not what the old personality would do. Do you see! This is named cognitive restructuring creating a new neural pathway, nerve cells that no longer fire together no longer wire together or (neuronal firing based on the Hebbian theory named after Donald Hebb from 1949).

You are choosing from the quantum field all around you a new possibility out of the infinite possibilities in every moment all around you instead of creating the worst case scenario and then embracing this! As the conscious observer you are infinitely more powerful than you realise, every day we Accept Believe and Surrender, we then embrace the best or the average or the worst case scenario based on our thoughts and feelings!

Yesterday, I spoke about the law of attraction or the hermetic law of correspondence then we have the law of polarities that opposites attract on one level, like attracts like on another level which is a paradox or a self-contradictory claim though when investigated may be well founded or true! Based on research, observation, and experience! Though please feel free to do your research as through debate and inquiry this is how science covers all its bases! 🤪

There are two kinds of submission one is superior force the other superior truth one is weakness the other is strength it is exceedingly important part of your training in the neuro gym to know the difference between the two and by asserting yourself with self-confidence that you choose not to submit to superior force as it is weakness next to superior truth 😉 We may lack riches, but the greatest fortune is what lies in our heart 💚 story 1. (Sri Yukteswar Kriya yogi) My mother once tried to frighten me with an appalling story of a ghost in a dark chamber.

I went there immediately and expressed my disappointment at having missed the ghost. My mother never told me a horror tale again Moral: look fear in the face and it will cease to trouble you! 😇 Fortune has been considered the guardian divinity of fools; and on this score, she has been accused of blindness; but it should instead be adduced as proof of her sagacity or wisdom when she helps those who cannot help themselves. 😉 A burning desire to truly liberate your life and the life of others as it matters not what you perceive to have on the outside but what you choose to become on the inside. 😉 Go within or go without. 🤪 Lower self-possessing higher self-becoming.😇 A saying from Hindu scripture is: In shallow minds, the fish of little thoughts cause much commotion. In oceanic minds, the colossal whales of inspiration make hardly a ruffle. 😉 The nature of the universal mind: Omniscience ( all-knowing ) Omnipotence ( all-powerful ) Omnificence ( all creative ) Omnipresence ( always present ) there is a single intelligent consciousness that pervades the entire universe – The universal Mind. It is all knowing, all powerful, all creative, and always present.

As it is present everywhere at the same time, it follows that it must be present in you that it is YOU! Your mind is a part of the one universal consciousness. This is not a philosophical ideal passed down through the ages this is exact scientific truth or axiom. Know it! Believe it! Apply it, and you will see your life transform in miraculous ways, As I say to all my clients and new friends >> May your days and nights be filled with many beautiful and at times uncomfortable opportunities to grow and learn to 😇 have an auspicious day!

3 LITTLE KNOWN TIPS: HOW TO UNCLICK YOUR LIFE’S PAUSE BUTTON AND GET MOVING

wil-stewart-14962-unsplash

FRUSTRATED AND FEELING STUCK IN WORK AND/OR LIFE

I coached a woman named Tonya, who was having a tough time at work. She was feeling frustrated after a promised promotion ended with someone else getting the job. This was the final straw in a haystack of broken promises prompting her to look elsewhere for opportunity.

Unfortunately, she could not find the right job offer with additional income and scheduling like her current employer offered. Tonya felt advancing her career, needing scheduling flexibility, and growing her income were at a standstill. We all have similar work/life circumstances rife with excruciating stress, anxiety, and pain that is not sustainable, too, and remaining stuck is never the answer.

THE UNIVERSAL PAUSE BUTTON OF LIFE (CLICK)

 Tonya felt stuck– couldn’t move up or out of her current job or organization. She felt the universe was conspiring against her. We’ve all been there or maybe you are there right now with Tonya. I’ve been there too, live long enough, and it will come around again. Fortunately, this article shares a solution that shows you how to unclick life’s pause button of pain!

Tonya felt like the universe had hit the pause button of pain on her life. You can imagine how she felt — needing to pivot out of pain, but not knowing what, how, or when it would be possible!

Can you relate?

Every day, she goes into a job that gives her less and less, asks for more, and requires her doing her best work, while enduring feelings of discouragement, hopelessness, anger, distrust, and feeling absolutely stuck in her circumstances.

The U.K. Telegraph Online made these observations about people and their happiness:

Just three in 10 people feel ‘happy with their lives’ Researchers find 69 percent of people feel trapped in the same old routine and over 40 percent are unhappy with their lives

PAUSES CAN BE PAINFUL, BUT MORE OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD

I shared with Tonya how life’s pauses are generally misunderstood. Most of us know how painful, uncomfortable, and frustrating it is believing, feeling, or knowing there is something better waiting down our life’s path, but the path is not illuminated between your current pain state and future pleasure state.

Tonya and many of us feel antsy and confused, when we cannot move quickly toward our pleasure state and get out of pain — now. However, I’ve learned that running down your life’s path, in the dark (not knowing where you are going or what you are doing) can be disastrous.

In fact, it may be the reason you are currently in the circumstances you are in today — running from fears, not being patient, thinking the grass is greener, etc. If you can’t see where you are going, how do you trust your path (process of moving forward) at all? However, there is a light out of the darkness and an immediate pivot onto an illuminated path, when you understand the true nature of your life’s pauses.

THE PIVOT POINT OUT OF PAIN: UNDERSTANDING LIFE’S PAUSES

So, Tonya and I talked about the pauses of life taking on the meanings we give them. And, how those meanings keep us stuck or propel us forward in life. Feeling like your life is on pause is human, however, making meaning of your pause is a choice.

There are two common meanings people make of their life’s pauses: Belief their pause is either good or bad.

1. BELIEF YOUR PAUSE IS BAD: This feeds hopelessness, blaming, fear, and frustration, but does not change anything. For example:

a. I feel stuck in this job, because I don’t have the right connections. (Blame)

b. I feel like I’ll never be able to live abroad, because I can’t afford it. (Fear)

c. I feel like everything is working against me, because I never get a break. (Hopelessness)

Believing your pause is bad puts your life’s control into the hands of circumstance and treating them as if they are concrete instead of clay. You are given circumstances to mold, create, and amplify good in your life and in other’s lives. You must take back control with belief in a Good Pause.

A great illustration is the “Pregnant Pause”:

Webster’s dictionary defines a pregnant pause as: A pause that builds up suspension in the listener/viewer, for a greater dramatic (especially comic) effect of what follows the pause. 

2. BELIEF YOUR PAUSE IS GOOD: You must figure out what you must labor for and give birth too that feeds hope, accountability, confidence, and fulfilment as your pleasure state. For example:

a. While I’m stuck in this job, I will use this time to start crafting a plan that facilitates the right connections and people for greater opportunities here or elsewhere. (Accountability, Control)

b. While I feel like I’ll never be able to live abroad, I will use this time to find a few people who’ve successfully done it and create an informed action plan that lets me live abroad too. (Confidence)

c. While I feel like everything is working against me, I will use this time to focus on finding what will work for me — I’ll create good breaks — my circumstances are clay and I’m the potter. (Hope)

We must all focus on making GOOD meanings of our pauses not BAD ones!

3 LITTLE KNOWN TIPS TO UNCLICKING YOUR LIFE’S UNIVERSAL PAUSE BUTTON

Understanding your pauses’ meanings is a choice: good or bad. And, you must see pauses as “pregnant pauses of possibility” for reflection and discovery of your way forward. To move forward in the dark, you need a light, so you can see a few paces ahead, obstacles, and confidently make steady progress on your pleasure state’s path.

Now, your path has three obstacles — let’s call them boxes on it. Boxes you must find, unpack, and use to unclick life’s pause button. Each box contains 1 of 3 flashlight parts: Bulb, Flashlight Tube, and Batteries, so you can illuminate your life’s path:

1. (BULB) Vivid vision: This is a compelling, uncompromising, crystal clear vision of your pleasure state. It’s a “MUST” for you. It is worth fighting for tooth and nail! This means pulling late nights, getting up earlier before work, breaking mental/physical bad habits, etc. No matter what happens, in work/life, you are a heat seeking missile aimed at your pleasure state. It is what you can’t stop thinking about, dreaming about, scheming about day and night, to quote Les Brown.

Adopt a mentality that you won’t rest until you act and make your pleasant state happen. This doesn’t mean burning yourself out but showing resolve in the face of anything attempting to derail your efforts.

How I applied #1: the day my wife and I stopped talking about going on vacation and started pulling up resort rates online, checking our leave balances at work, and calculating the cost of going to St. Maarten instead of just dreaming about it. As in work or life, you must know specifically where you are going, so you can count the cost and start preparing for your trip (mentally and physically).

2. (FLASHLIGHT TUBE) Patient Process: This is the revelation and transformation resulting from your path being illuminated. It is satisfying and painful, because it’s growth. You will learn and lose somethings on your path, which is part of the process of making room in your mental backpack for success supplies you’ll need for remaining focused (no matter what) on achieving your pleasure state.

This means you staying positive through your day’s current state of pain, while working on your pleasure state every free moment you can beg, borrow, or steal. You must reflect on the behaviors and relationships (to things and people) you must change so you can focus and act on your movement toward your pleasure state.

Such as ending low value, toxic relationships with people in your life. Or, you may become a volunteer sharing what you love and aligned with your pleasure state. These changes will help create more capacity and focus required for reaching your pleasure state.

How I applied #2: Our St. Maarten trip was several weeks in the making and waiting. Yes, waiting for the right rates, allocating funds, finding flights, arranging childcare, and getting projects done sooner, before even considering the beach vacation. It became our singular mission — we need a break (On St. Marteen) and we did what it took to reach St. Maarteen.

Now, cheaper vacations popped up like weeds, but those ads merely served to divert our attention away from making St. Marteen a reality. When your pleasure state is on the line, do not compromise!

3. (BATTERIES) Champion Connections: These people are further along in life. They give your bulb power to illuminate your path, so you can safely travel along it. This is where experts like Keith Ferrazzi comes in. There are millions of people out there that have been where you are going.

However, they don’t work for free, so you must learn how to engage, enrich, and be patient with them as they come into mutually beneficial relationships with you. Keith is a world renown expert in the champion connection space with books and at least one online course on Udemy.

This lesson about connecting with champions isn’t new, but it resonates differently when I consider how long I’ve been on a professional island cut-off from collaboration or support. And, seeing the impact of not having or being a champion for someone else — you stagnate, have fewer options, and have more difficulty getting off pause and staying that way.

How I applied #3: So, our best efforts hit a snag. We lacked expert knowledge of St. Maarten, so selecting the right condo was a chore. We did not know how water proximity dramatically reduced rental pricing. Like, a few hundred feet equating to a few hundred dollars less per day or week! An expert, when and where you need it, is rocket fuel for you unclicking your life’s pause button.

I can still remember breaking through the clouds over the sandy Isle of St. Marteen, as the jet descended through beautiful white clouds, over light blue waters, to touch down on a sandy expanse dotted by palm trees. It was only a few hours later, before we were sipping from fresh cut coconuts on a St. Maarten beach. The work/life struggle is real, and so are the rewards — don’t give up!

YOUR PATH’S LIGHT — ASSEMBLY IS REQUIRED

Life’s pauses make you stop, so you don’t trip over the three boxes on your unlit path to your pleasure state. The pleasure state that’s too far away to see with your eyes or run too without tripping over boxes in the dark. If you remain on your path and assemble your flashlight, you will see your path illuminate just beyond your pain state, faster, and enter your pleasure state more quickly.

DON’T TRY TO ILLUMINATE YOUR ENTIRE PATH — YOU’LL BLOW YOUR MENTAL LIGHTBULB

You might be asking, “Why can’t you see the whole path all at once?”

Jack Nicholson answers this question best:

See, your pause and path provide tumult and treasures that would be TOO alarming IF YOU SAW THEM ALL AT ONCE and out of context. You need processing time for making meaning out of what confronts you on your path. If you do not take time and build context around your experiences (Good Meaning), you will end up overwhelmed eating an entire elephant of possibilities instead of one bite at a time.

For example: “Getting a college degree can be overwhelming until you realize nothing happens until you enroll. And, progress toward completing a degree is one class at a time.” Your path is like getting a college degree. You will learn individual lessons that will help you reach your goal, which is how your path works — you get the context of where you are and are going, so you can keep going without overwhelm.

Otherwise, “Pop!” your bulb is blown trying to take in more than you are equipped to handle at any point on your path. This would make any pleasure state path seem more like a nightmare and your destination an impossibility, because you made the wrong meaning rushing toward your pleasure state!

Patience and process allow your flashlight’s illumination of bite sized portions of your life’s path. It is just enough illumination required to see, process, learn, and do what matters most in the moment — no more.

HERE’S THE ADVICE I GAVE TONYA (THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU TOO)

1. (Bulb = Vivid Vision) Tonya needed to unpack and create her ideal pleasure state that embodies the salary, flexibility, location, and opportunities for growth she dreams about day and night.

She will spend quality time making sure her pleasure state vividly resonates with her core values and aligns with her overall direction for her best life. These actions will help her create a crystal-clear vision for herself that feels right, authentic, compelling, necessary, a bit scary, and ultimately exciting without being overwhelming.

2. (Body Tube = Patient Process) Tonya must unpack her patience and stick to the “revelation — transformation” process, which means not rushing through needed research into jobs fitting her description. Not letting negative thoughts about her pleasure state dim her vivid vision, nor allowing bumps/setbacks on her path dissuade, discourage, and/or distract her from her chosen path.

This means maintaining her focus on bite-sized, actions and steps versus focusing her precious attention on all the possible steps she thinks must be taken toward reaching her pleasure state.

Remember, unfocused thinking will induce worry and often results in overwhelm getting in the way of a clear course of action. If you have trouble focusing your thoughts, you may find it useful practicing stillness such as a nature walk or meditation, before embarking on any serious self-reflective activities.

3. (Battery = Champion Connections) Finally, Tonya and I discussed the importance of taking her 12- month pause and getting connected with people she must meet, learn about openings, and building educational/social bridges to her pleasure state (the third box unpacked).

She must find champions with money, wisdom, introductions, perspective, to name a few things, whose flashlights have illuminated theirs and other’s paths to success. A great resource is Keith Ferrazzi’s book and relationship action plan (RAP) concept that spells out what Tonya must do consistently for the types of business and social relationships she needs for moving into her next opportunity.

Now, Tonya has unpacked all three boxes, assembled her flashlight, and is ready for champion connections who will help her follow her pleasure state’s path. And, so can you.

WRAPPING UP

Remember, your pause is what you make it, so make it a good one, by following the flashlight assembly instructions:

1. Create a vivid vision.

2. Follow your process with patience.

3. Find champion connections who have been where you are going

Follow these three steps, and I guarantee you’ll be on your well-lit path moving toward the pleasure state that gives you a better work and/or life results. These tips worked for me and those I’ve coached, so I know they will work for you, too.

ABOUT JOHN

I thank you for stopping by today.

I know you and millions of others want more control over their food and life’s narrative, so you can live better.

A Great Motivational Speaker Jim Rohn once said, “For things to get better, I must get better. For things to change, I must change.

Enroll in My Online Training Courses: To immerse in new ideas, discussions, and safe options for food and life narrative changes:

Online Course — 5 Incredible Food Lessons to Help You Look and Feel Better Now!

How to Get Rid of Celery Stick Diets Forever!

http://bglk.thinkific.com/courses/5IncredibleFoodLessons

Online Course — 7 Amazing Life Changing Strategies: How to Build Your Best Life Now! (The 7 Little-Known Secrets Expert Coaches Tell Their High Net Worth Clients) http://bglk.thinkific.com/courses/7AmazingLifeStrategies

Visit and subscribe to my site at http://bigguylittlekitchen.com/

Remember, nothing changes until you change. Nothing gets better until you get better.

Act: Enroll or Subscribe today, to begin your life transformation journey to a better, happier, healthier, fulfilled, and wealthier you.

7 Easy Tips To Calm Your “Monkey Mind”​ During Meditation

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

You have heard about the benefits of meditation and see research and studies everywhere touting this great habit. You know Oprah, Tony Robbins and even Katy Perry does it.

And yet, anytime you sit down to practice meditation, you find yourself frustrated and mad because your mind constantly keeps wandering at a million miles an hour.

Sound familiar?

TRUTH: It is impossible to completely empty your mind of all thoughts and be in deep a meditative state unless you have 1000s of hours of practice under your belt.

TRUTH: Monkey mind is completely normal and that’s how you know you are doing it the right way.

WHAT?

Yes. Monkey mind occurs, because meditation slows you down enough to make you aware of the million thoughts you have racing around in your head at any given moment.

It’s not that meditation brings out the monkey mind. Meditation makes you aware of the monkey mind, which has been there all along.

So what can you do to calm your mind?

  1. Don’t fight the distractions. Observe the thoughts. Watch them come in and go out of your mind. Let them pass through you, instead of hanging on to every thought and giving it meaning. For instance, if you think of an errand that you forgot about, just register it in your head and move on, instead of worrying or beating yourself up for forgetting.
  2. Focus on your breath. Or focus on the way your chest rises and falls with each breath. Or focus on each part of your body and observe it; starting with the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You will find that your mind wanders often. Once you realize that you have wandered off, come back to where you left off. There is no judgement in meditaion.
  3. Use a guided meditation app. If you find that your mind wanders too much, there is no shame in getting help from meditation apps. Insight Timer (lifetime free access) and Headspace (free for the first 30 days) are two of my favorite. You don’t HAVE to do it all on your own.
  4. Be consistent. Your body doesn’t get healthy on day 1 of working out and eating right. It takes months of practicing healthy eating and working out to get to your ideal body.  Meditation is a practice and just like any skill, the monkey mind will quiet down with practice. Be intentional about meditating everyday and make it a priority.
  5. Stop expecting perfection. Meditation is a practice to help you become aware of your thoughts, including your own judgement and criticism. Meditation is deeply unique to the individual and there is no “perfect meditative state”. So stop beating yourself up for not doing it perfectly, because there is no such thing.
  6. Journal, after meditation. Journaling is a perfect way to empty your mind after a meditation, to unload everything that was brought up. If you want to take meditation one step further, then journaling is it. It helps you process the thoughts that comes up, which is vital to your long term well-being and growth. It also allows your mind to relax, because it knows that the thoughts are not being ignored, only delayed.
  7. Celebrate the action, not the result. All of us get way too hung up on whether or not we got the result we wanted, and forget to pat ourselves on the back that we took action. Have faith in your abilities and stick through the “monkey mind” meditations. The deeply feel good ones are right around the corner, I promise.

Tell me, were these tips helpful? Have you struggled and been frustrated with monkey mind before?

Leave me a comment, like or share this article if you know it will help others.

Ways of Being and Doing – multi-tasking, procrastination and everything in between

clear glass with red sand grainer
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In today’s world we are all so focused on doing things, ticking off the boxes on our ever so long to-do-lists, but rarely do we stop to just BE. How about a ‘to be’ list? How you are and who you are is often more important than what you do or how you do it, because being is a pre-requisite of doing. For example, if you are grounded, calm and present, you will DO things in a more productive way than if you are scattered, stressed or overwhelmed. If you tend to put things off, or procrastinate, what state of being are you in and what are the motives for your procrastination?

Let’s look deeper into multi-tasking and procrastination. Though they may seem at the opposite end of the ‘doing” spectrum, some of the ‘being’ states underneath are quite similar. What is the little (or not so little) voice in your head telling you? “Hurry up, get it done, why are you forgetting this, oh no! not again! Why am I leaving this again till the last moment? Or is it:” I cannot believe it’s midnight and I haven’t finished the 3 things I planned to do before bed!” More often than not, we are not even aware of that voice, but it is always there, and it is guiding us, sometimes in a trance-like state. These are the ‘saboteur’ voices that we all have and experience, the question though is: Are we aware of them?

If you are ruled by the Achiever voice, you may be running yourself to the ground, and pursuing all those tasks like your life depended on it – when is the time to let go and just relax, just BE? How many boxes will need to be ticked before you can slump onto that sofa?

If you are governed by the Avoider voice, you will be procrastinating. You may be putting things off because inwardly you worry that you will not be successful, or you may even worry that you will be! You are trapped in the status quo and inaction, because it is safe, because if you do take that action, focus on completing that task or perhaps take a risk to do something new, you will face the unknown and change – by not moving in any direction, you are ‘safe’. More often than not, we have multiple saboteurs running the show from behind the scenes, though usually not at the same time (chuckle).

Essentially, it also comes down to our relationship with time. Do you tend to believe that you do not have enough hours in the day, or perhaps that you can always do it tomorrow? Our understanding of time is completely subjective, and we can change it and remake it, though the process could be trying and demanding. According to Eckhart Tolle: “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: The Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”

We have all become masters of avoiding the present moment, whether it is Netflix, Facebook or just aimlessly browsing the Internet…We spend time fantasizing about the future (dreaming about our next holiday or worrying about a potential disaster scenario that we have made up in our minds), or perhaps we are trapped in the past, revisiting old grievances and resentment, or even reminiscing about days bygone that will never come back…But are we ever in the present moment, in the so elusive NOW?

Dr Gabor Mate defines trauma as the inability to be in the present moment. Indeed, taken to the extreme, dwelling in the past and not letting it go results in depression, whereas constantly worrying about the future is actually what anxiety is. While we may not be at the extreme of this spectrum, we have all at some point experienced these states to a certain degree, and they all have to do with our being, first and foremost, and then our doing – or not doing- is driven by it.

Going back to our perception of time and the resulting behaviour we may find ourselves juggling many tasks and activities at once, ending up exhausted and not as productive as we had hoped. Or we can find ourselves putting things off, getting distracted and allowing “time to just slip through a crack…” and before we know it, we are beating ourselves up for not doing that task that we have been putting off for ever…

Alas, so what to do? Or rather, I’d say, ‘What to be?’ Being in the present moment is the key and training our brain and the entire nervous system to be at peace with the present moment will take time. Whether you are predominantly Avoider or Achiever, or even Restless, grounding yourself in the present moment will allow you to just be and to start experiencing that elusive peace of mind. As you have guessed, meditation in its many guises and forms is a very good start. Whether you want to use an app or enrol into a Mindfulness course, learn Transcendental Meditation (TM) or choose any other way, you will reap the benefits. Not only will you allow yourself to BE, you will gradually become empowered to choose how you want to BE and therefore carry that quality of being into everything you do.

For more info contact jelena@whatwork.co.uk

www.whatwork.co.uk

Resources:

The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

https://uk.tm.org//london-victoria for Transcedental meditation classes

Apps: Headspace, Think up, Buddhify, Calm, 10% Happier, Mood notes, One Mind Dharma

Plum Village Mindfulness Retreats https://plumvillage.org/retreats/when-can-you-visit-us/

The Most Effective Work-Life Balance Advice

Here it is…

STOP believing there’s one!

Work-Life balance is a lie, a myth, and unattainable. Was that too harsh? Let’s try a different approach. There’s no such thing as work-life balance (I don’t think that made it better, either). Before you click the back button or before you flag this article, read on a bit more; I assure you, it gets better (fingers crossed).

We all have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That gives us exactly 168 hours in a week; nothing more nothing less. Everyone, regardless of gender, race, nationality or income will have the exact amount of time in their hands. Isn’t it amazing? The greatest equalizer of all time is time itself. I don’t know about you but I find that re-assuring.

I suppose most of us when we say work-life, we define life as everything other than work (which excludes household chores, errands, etc.). If so, here’s and illustration of how a balanced work-life would look like for a typical working person (on a weekly basis).

Okay, almost balanced. But how do you find the table? Does it inspire you? Do you get it, now? Even if we do achieve the number of hours above, I don’t think it will give us the results we want. On the contrary, this might just make us more miserable. Who would want to constantly keep tabs on the hours and activities day in day out? And wouldn’t that alone, be a tragedy?

Pause for a moment and let this sink.

Don’t worry. Although it looks grim, there’s hope. Instead of achieving balance between work and life, why don’t we try these?

a.   PRIORITIZE our life.

“If everything’s important, nothing is.”

We need to set our priorities. If you don’t set your priorities and protect them, someone else will. Sadly, most of us allow others to set our priorities for us and then complain why we can’t have a fulfilling life.

We can take the reigns back and we should. It’s pretty simple. List down your top three (maximum four) priorities in life and then, make sure you allocate a lion’s share of your TIME, ENERGY and ATTENTION to each of them based on level of importance. Number one priority gets the most, and so on.

Review your list daily and protect them. If you know your priorities, you will have the ability to say no to a lot of other things and live with it. If they don’t matter much, they should have the least amount of your time, energy and attention. Common sense? Yes, but usually not common practice.

b.  INTEGRATE work and life.

“We work to live, not the other way around.”

Whether we like it or not, work is part of our lives; just like our relationships, hobbies, other things. If we go back in history, work has always been a family endeavor. In fact, this still holds true in some areas around the world.

Unfortunately, this changed during the industrial revolution, when fathers and mothers had to leave their families to work at factories. Thus, alienating work from our personal lives. This wasn’t how it used to be when families worked together to earn a living.

Don’t you find it funny, those who earn from illegal means usually have no problems involving their families in their line of work while those earning from decent jobs most of keep their families from helping them? How about you let your son, daughter or spouse do some of your paper works? Bring them to work, train them, show them what keeps you busy. Let them in on the fun. Ask your boss and HR to include it as part of the company policy. You get to share the load, your family gets to know you more, your company gets more workers for the price of one. It’s a win-win!

c.   BE PRESENT at the moment.

“You cannot be in two places at once.”

Whether you’re at work, home or vacation, be there, be present, 100%; body, mind and spirit. How many of us daydream about a perfect holiday at the beach while at work; and think about work (worst, do work) while on a perfect holiday at the beach? Please raise your hands.

The only way to enjoy the moment and make the best out of it is to be present at that moment, period. Stop checking on your phone when you don’t have to and start connecting with the person across the table or beside you. Resist the urge to open that laptop while you’re in your swimsuits; it only looks cool in commercials, not in real life.

Think about it, if all of a sudden, you disappeared from this world, what would happen to the work you leave behind? Yes, someone else will take over it; even if you’re the CEO. Small steps go a long way.

You may find these three too idealistic; they are, but they are also doable and practical. I have personally adhered (although far from being perfect) to them and it has done wonders in our lives. That’s why I’m sharing it.

 

For more thoughts and tips, follow the hashtags: #Leadingwhereyouare, #Leadingwithapurpose, #JeffManhTalks

Follow me on:

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jeffmanhilot

FB page: Jeff Manh Talks

Snap, Crackle, Pop

group discussion

Prepare For That First Impression Before You Need It!

You’re going to network, right?  You’re going to dialog with strangers that may become colleagues, prospects, clients, audiences, even friends.  You’re going to do this face to face, in digital or print, on the phone, in front of ad hoc or planned groups and even large audiences.

Your career success relies on your communications skills!

Actually, it’s been long considered that 75% of a person’s compensation is based on their communication skills.

So, have you noticed how many people are great engagers of others, and how many aren’t?  Have you seen people in an audience stop using their smart devices to pay attention to a speaker and in other settings see people focus only on their smart devices?

And, be honest, how would you measure your own skills, and in which settings?

Are you prepared for any discussion, any time, anywhere and on any subject?

Here’s a trick that can help you punch up your skills before you feel like you just took a punch in the gut for not being ready.

Snap, Crackle, Pop – Before, During, After – Past, Present, Future

  1. Outline a list of topics you may have to discuss in the future. These can be anything from current events, history, your line of business, a prospect’s problems, whatever you want – just outline a list of topics, shoot for ten.
  2. For each topic on the list, outline a “past” “present” and “future” question.
  3. Practice the questions until they become a habit (note: through research and practice, I calculated that it takes me 91 tries to change or create a habit)
  4. Challenge your development of the habit – can you jump into any discussion, answer any question, in any individual or group discussion and on any topic? (hint – this will take practice; 91 tries took me 13 weeks)
  5. When you think you have those ten topics down, do another ten, and then another – you will know you’re prepared to make the kind of impression you want to make in any setting – when you’re ready!

Example:

You will likely attend a mixer of some sort, with colleagues, clients, prospects, fellow club members, whatever.

At some point you will have the opportunity to establish an impression.

First, simply ask the others in the group a question about the past.  For example, “that’s interesting, can you share some of the history of how that developed?

Second, move your question forward to the present with, “Ah, I see, so that’s how you determined the steps you’re taking today; tell me, how are today’s circumstances stacking up against those earlier stages?”

Third, future “…and how do you see this changing over the course of time, say the next five years?”

Practice will turn you into the most prepared conversationalist, speaker, engager – anywhere.

Good luck out there!

 

One Simple Question You Have To Ask Yourself Before Making Any Decision

Decisions are always emotional, no matter how rational you might think you are.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Making major decisions in life is usually stressful, confusing and paralyzing. Especially when it’s something that could affect the rest of your life.

Like what college to pick, which job offer to choose (if you are lucky to have multiple), should you move to a new city and should you start that business?

I am not going to make you read to the end of this article to give you the SIMPLE QUESTION.

So what is it?

“Am I making this decision based out of love or based out of fear?”

I know it sounds totally eccentric, but hear me out.

You assume that when you make decisions, you are making it after you have

  • collected all relevant information,
  • analyzing all of it,
  • weighing the pros and cons and
  • maybe even asking others’ opinions.

Wrong.

Decisions are always emotional, no matter how rational you might think you are.

When I started my first business as a sleep consultant, rationally, the decision made no sense.

I was a new mom trying to figure out life. I didn’t know a thing about running a business. I had no sleep training experience. I had no sales experience. I had no marketing experience. The investment was hefty!

But emotionally, I needed my independence. I needed to establish my identity other than a wife and a mother. I needed to use my talent and my skills.

I took the plunge.

At that time, I didn’t know to ask this key question, but I do know that I was making the decision based out of love.

Love for myself. My love for growth and challenges. My love for self-expression. My love to create something to help others.

If I had been worried about the money or the potential to fail (which is high for entrepreneurs), then I would have made the decision based on fear.

Our leaders (in corporations and politics) always have the choice to lead us, either through love or fear.

The great leaders always use LOVE to inspire us and join them.

Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela are two incredible examples of world leaders who inspired and led by making all decisions through love. Love for their people, love for their country, love for humanity.

They never used fear, even during fearful times to lead. Instead they always focused on the infinite possibilities that were available to them, should they choose to see it and act on it.

The next time you are facing a decision, big or small, ask yourself:

  1. “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?”
  2. “What would I do if I didn’t care what others thought of me?”
  3. “What would the most confident version of me do?”
  4. “What would I do if I wasn’t worried about the money?”

All of these will help you make a decision guided by love and help you expand in life, as opposed to shrinking from life; which is what fear based decisions make you do.

What tough decisions have you made in life? On hindsight, did you make them based on love or fear?

Why The World Needs You To Be a Start-Up In 2019

In case you missed it, here are some harsh facts to go with you morning latte-

    • Almost 200 species of living beings have gone extinct in the past 50 years alone — a rate of two per year.
    • ‘Dead zones’, i.e. Ocean locations where nothing can live, have increased by 75 per cent
    • Right now, an estimated 780 million people on the planet have no access to clean drinking water
    • It is predicted that based of today’s rate of deforestation, we may only be left with 10% of our rainforests by the year 2030
    • & probably, most importantly- global warming is causing unprecedented climate change that could result in the Earth’s 6th mass extinction event.

Trevor Banerjee - Coach to Green Startups

Why am I sharing this checklist of doom & gloom with you? As much as I may come across like the Grinch who stole Christmas, I generally tend to have a very positive outlook to life (I mean, as a Life Coach one would hope so!) however, these are the ugly facts that many of us choose to ignore and unless we pay attention and choose to do something, we risk losing… well, everything.

You see, I help small and medium sized businesses overcome any limitations that may be experiencing to help them grow and here’s the surprising fact- most of the time, those limitations lie in the minds of the Entrepreneur.

However, I’ve noticed is that these ‘Self-Limiting Beliefs’ as I like to call them, are most prevalent in the minds of another group of people; those who wish to start their own business, BUT DON’T.

These beliefs could be anything from ‘I have a brilliant idea but I don’t know how to run a business’ to ‘What if I fail and lose what I’ve worked hard for’ and everything in between. But once that limiting belief is converted into a positive mindset, I have seen mice turn into self-sufficient, employee-hiring, six-figure earning lions.

Trevor Banerjee - Business Coach

There are a number of exercises we go through to create this transformation, but one of the most important ones that I want to share with you today is this-

I teach my clients to get out of their own head and into the minds of the people they wish to serve. I help them understand that by NOT starting their business, they are depriving their potential client off a product or service that could add so much value into their lives.  

So if you have a business idea that you believe could, dare I say, save this world, then it’s no longer important for you to bring that vision to life, it is imperative.

Thus, here’s my message to you-

Mother Earth and all her children are under threat and she’s going to need all the help she can get. If you can do something within the realms of your current job, then great. But if it requires you starting something of your own, and the only thing standing in the way is your limiting beliefs, then kick aside; you have more important things to do.

Limiting beliefs have been responsible for the destruction of countless dreams.
We can’t allow it to be responsible for the destruction of the world.

 

About the Author

Trevor Banerjee is a Life Coach, Business Mentor, Motivational Speaker and Author of the Amazon Best-Seller, The Freedom Switch

He is passionate about the current crisis regarding climate change and the systematically destroying the planet, and he wants to do something about it. Which is why he has initiated a new coaching program that takes people from ‘Employee to Entrepreneur in 90 Days’. To know more about the program, feel free to book a complimentary 30 minute session with Trevor here

Why Entrepreneurship Matters: Meet Kaley.

Kaley had it all… or did she?

Kaley is an inspirational client of ours at . Coach LLC. Nobody embodies better the principles we stand by as a company better than her.

Kaley Zeitouni began her career at 14 years old when she founded the nonprofit organization Youth Against MultipleSclerosis (YAMS).

As a natural born leader with an unwavering passion to make an impact, Kaley has inspired thousands across the globe as a motivational speaker sharing her experience being diagnosed with MS at age 12.  After twenty years living with the auto-immune disease, Kaley healed herself from MS and now coaches others with chronic illness to also experience relief from illness, transform their health blueprint, and live healthy lives.

While living with and curing herself of a chronic illness would seem like enough to keep someone busy for a lifetime, Kaley’s passion doesn’t end there. Life threw another curveball in 2016 when Kaley’s fiancé died suddenly at 29 years old. Today Kaley speaks openly about her experience with grief and loss and developed a coaching program to help others who have lost a spouse or partner to truly heal and restore a sense of wholeness in their lives.

Kaley combines her professional skills as a Marriage and Family Therapist with her personal experiences facing life’s biggest challenges to lovingly and empathically help others to achieve what society deems impossible. Kaley is a published author and continues to empower and inspire others to heal from within, whether from loss or illness.

The following is a real-life account of what growing a startup really is all about. It is raw, genuine and filled with inspiration. Enjoy

Last week, I left the office where I had a“good job” for the last time. If you asked me a year ago, that image would have been terrifying, but when the day finally arrived, it was the greatest feeling ever. 

For years, I had what society would call “great positions.” I had the title, the salary, and I was always extremely good at my job. So you can imagine everyone’s surprise when I gave notice without another full time “job” to go to. Instead, I left to grow my coaching business, working with people experiencing the loss of a spouse/partner to heal and transform their lives.  

Two years ago my fiancé died suddenly. I was broken. The pain was so excruciating, there were moments I thought I was going to physically just split down the middle.  Having had a previous career as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I knew that weekly therapy wasn’t going to be enough to heal. I called upon my mentors and coaches to get me through this time, along with others who had had similar experiences. I came to hate the phrase “time heals,” which people repeated constantly during that time. If I was in so much pain why would I wait for time to heal. Through hard work and finding every possible resource, not only did I heal, I discovered a new me and a new level of happiness I didn’t know existed. 

I started sharing these tools with others facing loss, and I was amazed by the results. I saw that it is possible to proactively heal rather than wait for “time” and to do so in a healthy way without letting go of your loved one. I felt called to do this on a larger scale but didn’t know how to monetize it not to mention all the fears about leaving the seeming security of my job. 

I had heard about coaches and authors who were making six or seven figures but part of me didn’t believe that was possible. It also just seemed like a far-off dream to be able to spend my time helping people in a way that felt aligned with my soul, and earn enough to not work80 hours a week.

Turns out, I was wrong.  About eight months ago, I found two amazing coaches, Sai Blackbyrn and IgnacioPerez, who helped me see that my dream was not only possible but that I owed it to the world to live my best self.

There is an important Jewish teaching that states that when we die, the Creator will not ask us why we weren’t more like Moses or any of our other leaders. Instead, we will be asked why we weren’t more like Kaley. Sai and Perez hit that message home for me on a daily basis. 

They coached me through the exact steps of building my business which I did alongside my 12 hour day job. Word of mouth kept spreading even before I had a website up, so they coached me through each prospective call in order to attract my ideal client. Within a couple months the scales tipped and not only did it become impossible to keep doing both, I realized I didn’t have to. 

With every passing day, I feel honoured to be a companion for others experiencing grief and I am grateful for the opportunity to live life on my terms rather than the hamster wheel I was stuck in for years. The idea of creating my own business, being self-employed, seemed so daunting. I thought it would take years to get here. I always knew I was born to be an entrepreneur but I could have stayed stuck in the fear for years. Having the right guidance and focusing on the results rather than getting stuck in the details allowed me to turn my life around in just six months and now I get to focus on the adventure ahead.

To me, coaching is all about giving back. It is about being a role model — maintaining my own integrity in the face of adversity. It is honouring someone’s journey and empowering them to heal from within and in turn manifest their full beauty in the world.

Today I live a dream and it is because I took a leap of faith and believed all would work out.

Kaley Zeitouni 

It did.

So take the leap.

You’ll thank me later

-Kaley

 

How women can own their brass (ovaries)

When I was a kid playing with Barbie dolls, I wasn’t interested in planning dates for Barbie and Ken. In my world, Barbie told Ken what to do, and he stayed home while she went to work at the towering office building with her name on it.

I’ve always known I was different. Different from the boys and the other girls.

I’ve always brought my opinions to the table. I’ve always asked lots of questions, driving my parents — and now my husband and kids — nuts. Why do I ask so many questions? To find out why, to find out why not, to find out what else and what if.

I didn’t just ask questions, I took action. When I was bullied, I befriended the bully. When the guys ran for class president and the girls for secretary, I ran for president, too. When I needed money, I started working at age 11. My senior English teacher senior year used me as an example of how not to write. But years later and seven books in, I’m still writing. No means I haven’t asked you the right question yet.

I have always had and owned my brass ovaries but didn’t know what to call it before I wrote the book on it. I’m not kidding.

Before #METOO

Before Hillary ran, before the #MeToo movement. I wrote a book titled, “Brass Ovaries Own Yours: Master the Mindset, Change the Game.” As the book unfolded, I saw so many similarities I had with other successful women. Everyone I interviewed brought up the same types of stories about losses, struggles, strengths and wins.

I discovered that I was not alone in this owning department, and, through the book, I wanted to help others own theirs with pride, too. Men and women own their “brass” in different ways. But our push, drive and needs still come from our brains, hearts and backbones – just differently.

WHY

Everyone is an individual, yet we are the same in our fears and insecurities. I have mine, too, but my strengths and life lessons keep me moving forward. My “whys,” keeps me focused, relentless and driven.

My three kids are my main “whys.” I want them to know that anything is possible. I want them to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. I am the sole provider in my family because my husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 14 years ago. My mother lives with us, too. There is a lot to balance, and I have to stay focused.

Another “why” is that I love helping others see their potential. I love helping business owners, executives and employees find their best lives. I get pumped up when the phone rings, and I get to help people solve problems.

Your “whys” will be different from mine. Once you find your own motivators, never let go. Make them a part of your daily self-talk.

Am I perfect? No. Do I know it all? No. For example, because I am so opinionated and outspoken, it is challenging for me to keep my thoughts to myself while others are speaking. So I’ve learned to take notes during private sessions and meetings. This allows me to write what I’ve heard and listen for clarity rather than respond. I often repeat back what I’ve heard before offering a solution or idea. This allows others to speak and keeps me from speaking too quickly without the full picture.

I used to try to be a different person at home than I was at work. I thought I was supposed to be in charge at work, but submissive and agreeable at home. I sought harmony by shutting down and being quiet. I saw my mother do that with my father while I was growing up and vowed never to do that, and when I realized I was doing the same thing, I hated myself for it. I finally stopped because I didn’t want my kids to see an inauthentic person. They read my business writing and follow my business trends, and I have to be myself all the time.

HISTORICALLY

Historically women were brought up to please others, and that is where we, as women, get confused. The same is true for men who have gotten confused when they have bought into the stereotype that they must be the provider, the bread winner. There is freedom in letting go of stereotypes that no longer serve us.

I have always been ahead of the change and many times driving it. Often I was the only woman at the executive table in the owner meetings. But there is room for more women! There is no such thing as scarcity in my book.

Some women may fear that earning their brass also means getting labeled the “B-word.” Just to be clear, I am not a bitch. I do carry a heavy bat that only swings for home runs and accountability. I am direct, but I am warm.

When I first started as the EVP with a hotel franchise company, my reputation had followed me. It wasn’t long before the owner introduced me to an investor in my office. He walked in, looked around and I had to ask, “What are you looking for?” He said, “Your ball bat – I heard you carried one.” I looked at the owner and they both laughed. Later he explained he had described me as firm but fair (but a little more directly using a baseball bat as his metaphor). I was upset and honored at the same time.

I admit living with rose-colored glasses. I am an optimistically driven introvert with strong opinions. I take quick action and risks, pivot as necessary, cry when necessary, laugh as often as possible and share all I have experienced with the sole purpose of helping other grow.

My optimism helps me as a problem solver. A colleague called to tell me her boss was accused of sexual harassment. She was stunned, hurt, confused and not sure how to a handle the news. We broke it down through lots of questions and I got her to remove herself from the situation and look into the future and think about her next steps. In this case, it was to calm down, get the facts straight, not to assume and then take action. When you focus on optimistic outcomes, you come up with solutions.

8 LEARNINGS & TIPS

Here’s some of what I have learned and hope sharing them brings the brass out in you, too. Don’t get confused, though, brass doesn’t mean being rude, being unaware, being selfish — it’s being bold, being you, caring, sharing and living.

  1. Self-confidence is an attitude, and our roads to confidence begin as dirt roads that we need to clear from rocks and holes, then pave and finally landscape for a beautiful drive. My confidence has been built through my experience of putting myself out there. I am an introvert, so learning to get comfortable with networking was and still can be hard, but I remind myself why I am attending an event (meeting a prospect, furthering a strategic connections, supporting a colleague). I ask myself what will happen if I don’t go vs. if I do go. From there my confidence and purpose rises through my intention clarity.

2. Perception is a choice that everyone makes. Rose-colored glasses or not, your mind has to be straight to keep your heart in check and your backbone straight. Where are you now? Where do you need to go? How can you get there? Who should you involve? What other resources do you need? What might get in your way? What will you do if it does? What should you stop, start and continue doing?

3. Perfection, stop, just stop. Do your best, be your best and realize that none of us is perfect. Focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Don’t try to do and be everything to everyone. Seeking to be perfect is a waste of time. You will always find areas that need improvement; when you stop improving, you stop growing and die.

4. Balance is in the eye of the beholder. Do not judge what balance is for others; focus on what balance is for you. I have always said “BS” to those that say they can’t have it all. Sure you can, once you find your own personal balance. Keep in mind, my balance is different from my neighbors’ and this is okay.

I work when I want to – I work a lot. But it doesn’t feel like work because it’s by   choice. I put boundaries around special things with my kids. Personal non-negotiables are in my calendar in red. The cost of my services are non-negotiable – just as you don’t negotiate with the checkout person at Walmart. I know my value. I can’t pay college tuition for two kids, keep a roof over the family, food on the table and clothes on our backs if I don’t know my worth.

5. Help — Don’t be too proud to ask for it. As independent as I am, this is a continual struggle, but I have learned to ask others for help both personally and professionally, and the more I let go, the better my business and home life have become. I sometimes hire housekeepers, and I hire others to do my accounting, administrative tasks, some marketing and research.

6. Be authentic. Bottom line — be you, the best you. Don’t hide behind anyone or anything. Fear can freeze you or thrust you forward. Choose forward. I do!

7. Circle of Influence —Don’t be the smartest one at the table! If you think you are, make sure you are sharing your knowledge to lift others around you – choose mentorship, not arrogance. Strive to surround yourself with others that keep you motivated and move you towards your desired realm. Your circle should be honest and transparent with you, too. You don’t want disciples, but rather equals, to keep you motivated. Even the most motivated need others to push them to greater heights. One of my circles is an elite group of women business owners called Women Who Wow.

8. Boundaries — Set them, keep them, make sure others know them too. Your worth is set by your boundaries. Your balance is found through your boundaries. I don’t answer the business hotline after 6, and rarely meet with clients on the weekend.

Just because you own a bag of seed corn doesn’t mean they will ever grow if you never plant them. Likewise, you already have brass ovaries. It’s time you start owning them.

I am a proud wife of 30+ years; mother of three (I love them so much!); author of seven books, including,Brass Ovaries Own Yours: Master the Mindset, Change the Game”; and the kickass business owner of Premier Rapport, Inc. My business consulting firm removes stress from workplace culture and helps executives strategize, execute and create returns for their employees, stakeholders and themselves. 

Maybe Being Laid Off Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You.

If you are looking at starting your own business, maybe the first thing you need to get rid of is the fear of risking it all.

Let me set the scene for you. You have worked for an employer for the past 10+ years and you’ve received a layoff notice that shatters all your illusions of life-long security. Or perhaps you are in a dead-end career that drains the life out of you, but you still need to provide a living for yourself and your family. Or maybe you see the writing on the wall in your industry and it’s going a direction that will end any hope of a well-paid and satisfying career you dreamed of when you started.

Someone, a friend, a loved one, or maybe even a spouse suggested starting a business, and that is why you are here reading this. You dream of success, but what you crave even more is security. That steady paycheck that arrives every two weeks feels good and it’s enough to make the house payment, buy clothes for your family, and maybe even be able to take a decent vacation every other year.  Risking everything to start a business could leave you and your family devastated and homeless, so you lean towards finding another job and slogging through life until retirement somewhere in the distant future.

But what if you actually succeed?  What if the security you crave is actually the thing that is your biggest enemy? You see, I was once you. I was a U.S. Army Officer hell-bent on a 30+ year career until the Cold War ended and they didn’t need me anymore. I was a Pepsi-Co and Atlantic Richfield middle level executive dreaming of climbing the corporate ladder only to discover life in a big corporation sucks. I was a Career Coach for the world’s oldest and most successful Career Coaching firm until they ran out of money and dissolved.

What I discovered through this is that the security I desired was the very thing that held me back.

I wasn’t willing to risk it all because I perceived that my family only saw me as a provider taking care of their needs.  And yet with every career layoff or disruption, my real risk grew bigger and bigger…….I just didn’t see it.

Real growth in life comes when you are ready to do things that totally scare you and force you to live the dream you always wanted. Starting a business and putting everything on the line will change you from being a fearful person to being a fearless innovator……if you let it change you for the good.

You know you want to do this. Decide today that you will not live in fear, but will do what you have been called to do.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

Kevin Weir is a Licensed Business Coach with ActionCOACH Business Coaching helping small business owners be better at what they do; being the best business owner they can be. You can reach him through his website at http://www.kevinweir.actioncoach.com

 

Transformation Possibilities: Phoenix Rising From the Ashes.

Everyone has a story, and for most, it involves the trials of life that many share and relate to.

But for some, the tale can begin in realms that few can understand as they are so dark that one might assume they are devastating. But the life of Dr. Ava Eagle Brown demonstrates that your history does not define you but instead, empowers you, and all have the ability to lift themselves above through determination and love.

To understand Ava, you must comprehend the travesty of her childhood. Born into one of the most extreme poverty-stricken areas of Jamaica, she struggled to attend school while trying to balance working to put food on the table. For her, there was no true ‘childhood’, but instead a never-ending cycle of survival. Her missed school took its toll as she failed in Math and English, and yet still, inside, there was something that drove her so that she knew that she was meant for something greater.

A final turning point for Ava occurred in adolescence when she was assaulted with both incest and sexual abuse. These devastating conditions were compounded in her young adulthood when she was held at gunpoint. This was the moment that Ava took a stand that changed her life forever. Her escape not only validated her personal belief in self but saved her mental state. Now was the time to make a choice and Ava chose resilience as her driving force.

“Sometimes life will throw you down. However, you must find the willpower to pull yourself up above your circumstances.”

The intensity of her commitment to her inner voice led Ava to pursue her education. She knew that this single path would lead her in the directions that she was being led, and there was a fire burning inside that required that she answer her inner call. Her first MBA was from Newport University, California and then another MBA at the University of Wales. As she learned, she grew and expanded awareness and she added a Bachelor in Business Administration and a Diploma in Secondary Education from the University of the West Indies Mona, Jamaica.

Her life carried twists and turns, continuing her education while being a single mother is a difficult journey, but one that she embraced with a fervor like no other. For Ava, there was a method to the madness and she forged on with a single goal. Ava has authored several books including her own autobiography “Bamboo & Fern”, she was a contributing writer for a Caribbean magazine, she has her own column entitled ‘Avas Courtyard’, is an author for the education magazine, “Be Magazine” that was published in West Africa and for “The Children Hope Newspaper” on important topics such as “Hope for this Generation” and “Location and Education”. But this is just the beginning for Ava, she has also been featured in “The Financial Times”, “The Guardian”, “The Voice Newspaper” and “The Jamaican Gleaner”.

Ava has found her calling and in the discovery, she has lifted herself from the ashes and is in pursuit of constant sharing to assist others in their own transformation possibilities. She is the co-author of “Born For This: The Journey To Success in Life, Love, and Business” which is a tribute to all of those who have tried and failed as well as those who embraced something new and felt both the fear of failure and the exhilaration of success. Her foundation for this book is in the belief that failure is natural and normal and is designed as part of our life experiences. Failure gives us the ability to have a series of refining moments and is only an indicator that we are ‘not there yet’.

“You are an eagle, it depends on how high you soar”

One has to wonder how a poor girl from Jamaica, with statistics lined up against her, could not only reach out but achieve so much. For Ava, it is all about the belief in transformation possibilities. The achievements and accomplishments catapulted her into a realm of realization that her purpose was to be transformational for others. In this, she has become a mentor, coach, and motivational speaker.

Ava’s message to everyone has been one to encourage others in the pursuit of reaching their full potential so that they can tap into their greatness. She counsels others to use their own determination to break down barriers, regardless of background, culture or their past. There is a singular and powerful content to her rhetoric that inspires her clients to tackle their challenges and achieve their own success. To refer to Ava as a Trainer/Speaker/Author dwells on only the very beginning of her talents, hopes, and aspirations.

Giving Back Is Critical

Part of Ava’s life mantras is in the belief that giving back is not only part of our requirements but a responsibility that each of us holds within our hearts. Dr. Brown has become the official Ambassador For Evolve Housing + Support, a leading homeless charity in London that provides supportive housing for the homeless, working with 1,500 people every year. The humanitarian work that Dr. Brown contributes to extends her philosophy of transformation and possibilities to those that might never recognize their inner strength.

Dr. Ava Brown is a master coach and transformational speaker. She grew up in a very poor part of Jamaica, where she had to work hard as a little girl just to make enough for dinner. Today, our keynote speaker Ava Eagle Brown is an international coach who strives to help others reach new heights and discover their talents, passions and true purpose. She took control of her life and mindset, and she will teach you to do the same.