One Simple Question You Have To Ask Yourself Before Making Any Decision

Decisions are always emotional, no matter how rational you might think you are.

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Making major decisions in life is usually stressful, confusing and paralyzing. Especially when it’s something that could affect the rest of your life.

Like what college to pick, which job offer to choose (if you are lucky to have multiple), should you move to a new city and should you start that business?

I am not going to make you read to the end of this article to give you the SIMPLE QUESTION.

So what is it?

“Am I making this decision based out of love or based out of fear?”

I know it sounds totally eccentric, but hear me out.

You assume that when you make decisions, you are making it after you have

  • collected all relevant information,
  • analyzing all of it,
  • weighing the pros and cons and
  • maybe even asking others’ opinions.


Decisions are always emotional, no matter how rational you might think you are.

When I started my first business as a sleep consultant, rationally, the decision made no sense.

I was a new mom trying to figure out life. I didn’t know a thing about running a business. I had no sleep training experience. I had no sales experience. I had no marketing experience. The investment was hefty!

But emotionally, I needed my independence. I needed to establish my identity other than a wife and a mother. I needed to use my talent and my skills.

I took the plunge.

At that time, I didn’t know to ask this key question, but I do know that I was making the decision based out of love.

Love for myself. My love for growth and challenges. My love for self-expression. My love to create something to help others.

If I had been worried about the money or the potential to fail (which is high for entrepreneurs), then I would have made the decision based on fear.

Our leaders (in corporations and politics) always have the choice to lead us, either through love or fear.

The great leaders always use LOVE to inspire us and join them.

Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela are two incredible examples of world leaders who inspired and led by making all decisions through love. Love for their people, love for their country, love for humanity.

They never used fear, even during fearful times to lead. Instead they always focused on the infinite possibilities that were available to them, should they choose to see it and act on it.

The next time you are facing a decision, big or small, ask yourself:

  1. “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?”
  2. “What would I do if I didn’t care what others thought of me?”
  3. “What would the most confident version of me do?”
  4. “What would I do if I wasn’t worried about the money?”

All of these will help you make a decision guided by love and help you expand in life, as opposed to shrinking from life; which is what fear based decisions make you do.

What tough decisions have you made in life? On hindsight, did you make them based on love or fear?

Author: Visa Shanmugam

I help high achieving women who are overwhelmed and unfulfilled find passion, joy and connection to their life. The women I work with shift from feeling like a powerless spectator of their own life to becoming the powerful creator of their future. My area of expertise is helping women: ►shed limiting beliefs ►uncover mindset blocks ►shift behaviors to achieve balance I help my clients get out of their own way, get out of their heads and dive deep into their hearts, so they can achieve their fullest potential. I can be reached at

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